ACT I: Vat of Boiling Chocolate 

Narrator- This is the story of a guy, a guy named Dave, yep just Dave. A lazy everyday American who is often found sitting on his couch in his underwear eating cheap potato chips and playing Pong. One day Dave got off of his couch to get some snacks, as he walked down the street people passing by stared in absolute ah of the bed sours that covered him, almost like those freaks that get there entire body tattooed, yeah them. While he was walking near a hospital his foot became stuck to the sidewalk due to gum left there by a common jerk, as he struggled with getting free, senile Betty Sue who was staying in the top floor of the hospital because she got clawed severely when trying to put her cat in the oven, decided it was a grand idea to randomly throw a bed pan out the window. The bed pan full of an unidentified liquid fell from the sky. Dave looked up from his stuck shoe and the bed pan hit him straight in the forehead and (Insert Scientific Reason Here) he suddenly gained an extremely powerful sense of smell, random moments of amnesia, and now he can fly… wait he can fly? That doesn't seam right, how does that relate to getting hit in the head? Oh well, giant plot holes are the writers problem not the narrator's. Anyway as things go Dave decided for some personal reason to fight crime with these powers and even gained a sidekick, a fifteen year old very nerdy, pail white, nine fingered boy with no super power whatsoever. We'll call him Johnny. Let's watch them now as they sit on the couch.

Dave- Look at those pedals fly!!!

Johnny- You're so going down!

Dave- How do you think you're gonna beat me at Pong? You don't have ½ your fingers

Johnny- I'm only missing one!

Dave- Oh my mistake (Sarcastically)

Narrator- Just then Dave suddenly forgot what was going on due to the amnesia I was describing earlier.

Dave- Oh… wait… what were we talking about

Johnny- Um, we were… we were talking about how you were going to give me $50

Dave- Really, that doesn't sound like me! Hey! You're using my amnesia to your advantage aren't you? Why I have half the mind to throw you in a large vat of bowling chocolate!

Johnny- You keep saying that but I haven't seen it happen yet (Phone rings)

Dave- Hello?

Chief- Hey Dave, it's the chief of police again, I've got a crime that actually could use your pathetic super powers

Dave- Does it pay?

Chief- Um… uh, okay, how about the next time you a steal an Atari game from the video store, we won't bring you to jail, I mean you buy one on eBay for two dollars.

Dave- I know but this Dr Steve guy keeps out bidding me! What else you got?

Chief- Alright, alright, how about I give you… hmm… an X-Box 360

Narrator- And just then Dave's eyes started to water and a chorus of angels started doing that high pitched harmony you always hear, you know that thing that kind of sounds like the sound at the beginning of The Simpsons Theme? (Sound), that's it.

Dave- I'll do it!

Narrator- Then Dave went over to the Atari consol and chucked it out the window

John- What do you think you're doing!

Dave- We're getting an X-Box 360 (Sound)

Chief- Only if you complete the mission

Dave- Ah, ah, oh

ACT II: 305 East Potato Street 

Narrator- The chief told Dave the mission; word went around that a bad guy by the name of Badguyman was planning to destroy the planet by planting the vilest stink bombs ever devised all across the globe, because Dave could smell so well maybe he could find these bombs in a mission the government titled "Find The Frenchman's Armpit".

Johnny: What are you smelling, Dave?

Dave- The usual putrid odor of this town (Phone rings)

Dave- We're getting calls left and right today! Hello?

Badguyman- Hello Dave it's Badguyman, I hear you're trying to stop my evil doings, well quite it!

Dave- I'm so going to find you!

Badguyman: Are not

Dave: Are to!

Badguyman: Oh! Blast it all I just wanted to destroy the world with no hassle for no apparent reason to any one else but me, perhaps if someone just bothered to ask maybe they'd find out I had a bad childhood and all I really needed was to be loved… or something like that.

Dave- Um, okay. I'll get you Badguyman!

Badguyman- That's Mr. Badguyman to you sir! And don't bother trying to find me cause I'm watching this show I've been wanting to see forever.

Dave- What is it?

Badguyman- What do you care? The point is do not come to 305 East Potato Street and disturb me!

Dave- Uh, okay. Wait, how did you get this number anyway?

Badguyman- That's for me and my friend at the phone company to know and for you to find out

Dave- So it was your friend at the phone company?

Bad- What! How did you know that, oh! (Hangs up)

Dave- Okay Johnny, on we go to 305 East Potato Street and catch that bad guy… man

Johnny- Let's just blatantly procrastinate and do a montage of us to a really bad song that has nothing to do with the show, though no one listening to this will understand what the montage is about because this is audio, not video.

Dave- To the montage! (Montage)

Dave- Wow! That was random. Alright, enough of that my 9 fingered friend; away we go to East Potato Street to catch that evil fiend!

Act III: Pink Pajamas and Rosie Socks 

Narrator- Now Dave and Johnny are at the house surprisingly knocking on the door very politely like. (Knocking)

Badguyman- Hello…. Dave! I told you not to interrupt me while I was watching Days of Our Li… I mean football, ha, ha, ha.

Narrator- An insanely slender snow colored man stands in the doorway in pink pajamas

Dave- Wow, you look pathetic

Narrator- Just then Badguyman pulled out a jar with a very wet sock inside.

Dave- What's that?

Bad- This Dave, is a normal cotton sock, drenched in eight gallons of Rosie O Donnell's horrible… disgusting… SWEAT!.

Dave- No, no, no!!!!

Narrator- Then Badguyman broke the jar on the ground and the stench went to Dave's nose, you see for a normal person this intense odor would merely make them vomit for several hours in disgust but for a person with heightened smelling powers like Dave it is quite deadly.

Dave- Help me Johnny!

Johnny- What do you want from me, man? I'm a sidekick; I'm just kind of here for teenage appeal, I never actually do anything significant.

Dave- Oh right I forgot… I'm dying

Narrator- Oh this is ridiculous, I know I'm the narrator and I'm not supposed to interact with the characters but Dave you stupid, stupid idiot why don't you just fly away!

Dave- Huh, I guess you're right? (Flies away)

don't click this